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This did not happen in real life. My character Nina; a Necromantic Genasi, which I was playing as, in a session of Dungeons and Dragons (DnD) received very helpful information by braiding a dwarf’s beard. I started playing DnD so I could have more in common with my husband. He’s been playing for a very long time and he enjoys it immensely.  I wanted to share that joy with him so I started to learn. I have to say for some who did not grow up playing DnD or even really any games, it’s very imaginative and enjoyable. Playing as the only female (in game and in real life) in our party gives me a unique ability to see what the other party members have missed.
So back to our adventuring last night: the party, after our little mini dungeon quest headed to a town to start our next adventure. The town use to be a dwarf mining industry but all the dwarves have since left, except one. Our party’s Hobgoblin suspects he finds the only remaining dwarf in town but can’t confirm that it is one due to her head-to-toe smith-ing attire. Being the gentleman that our Hobgoblin is, he is far too polite to intrude on their workspace.  Our Hobgoblin, a Druid (my husband), and the Necromancer (myself) return to their workspace the next day to confront the suspected dwarf. As my other party members try the blunt approach, which is just making the suspected dwarf panic; my character can tell that this is a female dwarf. Seeing as my party members are getting nowhere fast, I offer to braid her beard.
Again, as someone who is new to the world(s) of DnD I don’t have a lot of knowledge of lore. From watching some of the Lord of the Rings movies, and reading some fantasy novels I know that usually the authors describes dwarves as having braided hair and beards. Even the females! Since my character also knew that this dwarf was female, being a female gave me the advantage. If one thing holds true across pretty much all realms (including real life) no matter who you are, females like to at least be pampered and “kept up” every once in a while. Not saying men don’t like to be pampered or look good or vice versa not all females like to be kept up. However, you can’t tell me that no one likes to be pampered every once in a while.
Thankfully I rolled well enough on my d20 (20 sided die) that she trusted my character just enough to allow only her into her workspace. As my character was braiding her beard, she received the information that maybe helpful to our party’s quest. This act made me think of life outside of DnD. Would you braid a dwarf’s beard? Meaning that, my character was willing to help another female not only for information but as a kind gesture.

Living in 2017, not a lot of females help each other out. Evolutionarily speaking, we are in competition with each other; finding a mate, procreating etc. We also can understand other women or at least attempt to; which can be both a good and bad aspect. However, from what I have seen, even though as women we can identify when another is hurting or is upset, if we don’t know them, we don’t help. Unless they are our friends we don’t care and I think that stinks. We are so quick to judge others that if we see someone crying, they’re weak or if we see someone mad we call them a bitch. We don’t ever really get to know why they are the way they are. It’s easier to just call them a name and move along. I have been on both side of this story. I have been called many bad names as well as seeing someone upset and kept to myself because I just didn’t want to deal with it. Granted I am very uncomfortable with people crying (I honestly don’t know how to comfort) but ignoring the person is not the correct choice. Calling your coworker a bitch because she’s upset today doesn’t help anyone; and you know that saying that will eventually reach her ears. It does upset me that women are pitted against each other solely because we are female. I see on T.V about how another woman enters the room and the original squints her eyes, judging, and proclaims “I don’t like her”. It’s funny because it’s true, but that doesn’t mean it’s correct.  
So instead of ignoring or name calling why don’t we braid each other’s beards? We have these wonderful abilities of intuition and empathy that we don’t use as often as I think we should. Supporting other women, whether they are mad, sad, happy, stressed can only lead to good outcomes. What’s the worst that could happen by sitting next to someone crying and asking if they need help? Or going up to “that bitch” and asking if they are stressed and if they want to talk about it? They turn you away? Oh no, my heart. This also doesn’t solely apply to women (although I do support the concept of women supporting women) but to men and children. Only seeing the surface layer of a person and why they behave the way they do is detrimental to human relationships. Even if the person does open up as to what’s upsetting them, you may still not understand and that’s ok. It upsets or stresses them. Just be there, that’s maybe all they need. Most people just want recognition of their feelings. So before we judge someone why don’t we try to understand? Why don’t we just offer a kind gesture instead of ripping them apart? Why don’t we braid their beard?


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